


Standing on the Edge (tell me what you see)

by sammyspreadyourwings



Series: Queen Prompts [38]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Asexual Spectrum, Coming Out, Demisexuality, Dorks in Love, Early Queen (Band), Fluff, Getting Together, Humor, Inner Dialogue, Introspection, Libraries, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Prompt Fill, Romantic Fluff, Sub Brian May
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-09-23 22:51:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20348137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sammyspreadyourwings/pseuds/sammyspreadyourwings
Summary: Brian figured himself out, and then he met Roger, Freddie, and John. He had to add them into his life, but he's happier for it.akaBrian thought he was asexual but he figures out that he's more confident in calling himself demisexual.





	Standing on the Edge (tell me what you see)

**Author's Note:**

> Someone prompted a Demi!Brian fic, and I literally got carried away with it. And played with the style a little too much. I think the pacing feels more real, but it's also 2:00 am and I've been listening to In Only Seven Days on repeat. So. Shrug. I also need to not have such dramatic ass titles, but you can pry that away from my cold dead hands.
> 
> The summary might change.
> 
> Anyway! Enjoy!
> 
> Oh, prompt text:  
May I request something? Initially Brian thought there was something wrong with him but soon learns about asexuality so just accepts that he's that and won't feel sexual attraction. Then he became friends with Roger, Freddie and John but totally freaks the fuck out when he eventually falls in love with them AND experience strong sexual desires plus submissive urges towards them. Then he learned about demisexuality and BDSM.
> 
> On a very dumb note this prompt is 69 words long.

He finds the term, identity, _himself _at age nineteen. It makes sense that while his friends started to talk about the people they wanted to get with, he kept his head in the stars and hands on his guitar. No one said anything because he’s always been the quiet, shy boy. So he tucks the word away into his pocket and eventually he really accepts the identity. It took him three breakdowns and a very long talk with Tim (who was less concerned that Brian didn’t want to fuck people and more concerned at the fact that Brian showed up at his door in the middle of a rainstorm), but he got there.

Then Roger Taylor becomes his best friend. Stunningly beautiful and beautifully happy. With Roger comes his flatmate, Freddie. Brian grows close to the pair of them, often ditching Tim at their flat (“hey, you’re paying rent _and _I get to play Smash until four in the morning.”) in favor at staying over with Freddie and Roger. He tucks the fluttering feeling in his heart where he tucked his sexuality.

Tim leaves. The band break-up stings and their friendship won’t ever be as easy as it was. Brian can’t blame him, Freddie has been getting more sway on their sets and songs and Tim has never been one to wait for things.

“You can still talk to me, about your thing, if you haven’t spoken to anyone else about it, yeah?”

Brian swallows back the grimace, Tim has been trying to get him to talk to a professional (“some people say it can be repressed trauma! Or maybe a medical condition!”). He claps Tim on the back with the promise they’ll stay in touch because Tim is the only one that knows and he’s starting to think that maybe Roger and Freddie are feeling some iota of the fluttering heart feeling that Brian refuses to name.

John Deacon blinds him with a brilliant smile and then blows him away with his bass playing. Brian smiles softly, welcomes their fourth into the band and he prays that this isn’t going to bite him in the ass.

It does.

They move in together at Freddie’s urging and John’s easy agreeing. Brian doesn’t complain because he and Roger have been sharing a bed for the greater part of the year because neither he nor John ever leaves the Taylor-Mercury flat, and Freddie refuses to sleep with him or Roger (“You two are the most restless sleepers I have ever dealt with. So I’ll let you beat each other up while John and I have a good night’s sleep.”)

Brian agrees that he and Roger aren’t exactly peaceful, he frequently has nightmares and Roger has an endless supply of energy. Not that he doesn’t have endless outlets drumming, singing, fucking, and getting on Brian’s nerves endlessly. Proof of the 1st Law of Thermodynamics if Brian ever saw one.

But like he said, at first everything is fine. Making music, making memories. The days get warmer and the clothes get less. Roger struts around in nothing but a pair of shorts. Brian gets distracted by his chest. Freddie tugs his long hair up. Brian gets distracted by the sweat beading down his neck. John snaps at him because it’s hot and he’s cranky. Brian gets distracted by his urge to _”shut up and sit down.”_

(He also gets distracted by John’s ‘Ass’ shorts with a marked on B, mostly because has no idea why John owns them)

He has no idea what the fuck is going on with him.

So as it usually goes when he’s confused he tucks himself into a corner of the library with his laptop and too much caffeine (and not enough food) and tries to figure it out. He feels bad for the people he stares at with a tilted head. The woman in the crop top doesn’t do anything for him. Nor does the man with the strong jaw. People who resemble John, Freddie, or Roger only serve to make his heart flutter when he catches them out of the corner of his eye because he thinks its actually one of his bandmates.

He switches his thoughts to his boys (_“stop calling them that Brian, it’ll only break your heart more”). _The way his stomach tightens when he turns to see Roger screeching into the microphone. How his cheeks hit up when John makes eye contact when he licks his fingers between notes. His smile is never more genuine than when he watches Freddie pull the crowd into his spell (“our spell darling, I’m an amazing singer.” “how humble.” “but we all make the magic happen.”)

Okay. Well. He’s in love with them. Now that he admits it and the world doesn’t end, he moves onto the second question.

The thought of sex never _repulsed _him, per se, hell he’s jacked off every time he’s felt the urge and it was convenient to do so. He’s just never wanted to _have _sex. But now his fantasies of his bandmates take a little hotter tone, where they used to be cuddling and making out he now thinks about John’s strong hand wrapped around – okay stopping that train of thought before he gets a hard-on in public.

For some unknowable reason, he wants to have some kind of sexual relationship with them. What’s different with them than anyone else on the planet (excluding their looks because they are outliers and too heavenly to be counted)?

He knows how to make Freddie laugh so hard in the morning he makes milk come out of his nose. John has walked him (and he as walked John) through so many anxiety attacks that he’s conditioned himself to calm around John. Roger is the literal sun to his moon, doing everything the same way but brighter, warmer.

So, he wants to have sex with the people he’s in love with? Does that mean he really is _broken? _Brian bites down on his lip and shakes his head, instead typing his question into Google.

The strange thing, he realizes, is that he never actually researched the term beyond the definition, figuring he doesn’t need to know about anything but his own feelings. Brian pours through page after page (a laughably small amount compared to other identities) and begins to make notes. Highlighted and everything.

Two hours later he’s reasonably sure of this new label. It joins his love in his pocket. His phone vibrates off the table. Brian frowns and picks it up. His lock screen is filled with messages on every conceivable platform (including his school email). The phone lights up with Freddie’s contact photo (cat in his lap and charcoal on his fingers. Ethereal.)

“Hello?”

“John! Call off the missing person’s report!”

Brian genuinely doesn’t know if he’s kidding – oh. He’s been here for eight hours. He probably should drink water. Grab a snack.

“…Brian!”

“Wha? Huh?”

“Where are you, my love?” Freddie lets out a sharp yelp.

“What the hell Brian! You couldn’t be bothered to answer _one _message.”

He opens his mouth.

“Give me that – ow! John get him – wait – John I wasn’t done!”

The squabbling dies down, “Brian?”

“Hello, John.”

John sighs, “are you okay?”  
“Yeah. I was working in the library,” Brian says softly, “didn’t mean to be out of touch.”

Maybe he should be offended at John’s snort, “Bri, you’re only grounded when you’re with us.”

(“You’re spacey!” “You’re drunk, Rog.”)

He takes offense but can’t fight the fond smile.

“Campus library?”

“Yeah.”

“Stay there? We’ll come to get you, and let's grab dinner and that weird vegan restaurant you like.”

“S’not weird,” Brian huffs, “and I can meet you there.”

“Bri, just stay. It’ll make us happy to get you. We’ve been without you all day.”

“Okay,” he says breathlessly.

Question three is answered. It isn’t a fluke that every time one of the boys gives him something more than a suggestion (“Play faster.” “Get up.” “Brush my hair!”). Freddie and Roger have had long conversations about their wildest kinks, Brian isn’t proud to admit that he pretended to be asleep so he wouldn’t be questioned, so the concept of being submissive isn’t new to him. The idea that he would be, in bed is. The fact that he wants to be in bed with someone is new to him.

“Ah hah!”

Brian looks up to spot his boys (_Stop thinking that, Brian.)_ walking towards him. Roger grabs his hand the second he’s in range. He closes his laptop, which John promptly slides into his messenger bag.

“I can carry it.”

“You’re grounded from it,” John jokes, “Freddie really was about to call missing persons.”

Freddie leans into his side. Brian raises his arm slightly and the wraps it around Freddie’s shoulder. He noses at the crow of Freddie’s head.

“I’m fine. Don’t be so dramatic.”

“Nope.”

Brian laughs.

Roger squeezes his hand, “figure out your problem?”

Of course, they noticed something was bothering him. He glances back to John who seems to be thinking very hard about something. Brian wonders if he saw what was on his screen.

“I’m demisexual. I think. Probably.”

_Wonderful Brian. Absolutely no lead-up. _

He gets three confused stares back. Brian shrugs. The ball is in their court now, and he figures if the reaction was going to be extreme it would’ve happened now. It isn’t like they wouldn’t accept him, he trusts that. But his coming out experiences have been limited to Tim, whose following behavior hadn’t been…favorable.

He tried. Brian dreads that happening with them. The questions (_Are you sure you don’t want to have sex?) _the statements (_You’ll change your mind when you find the right person)_ and blatant disrespect (_Try it. I’ll even help you.)._ If that happened with them, he’s not entirely sure what he’d do. Granted, he probably shouldn’t have so much of his identity wrapped up in three men who can barely cook without a visit from a fire hour and a pipedream.

It’d hurt. A lot.

“Ow!”

He rubs his head. Roger had tugged on one of his curls.

“Earth to Brian? Or are you on Neptune still?”

“Neptune is made from gas. If you could stand on it, the gravity would kill you.”

“Great, not what I meant,” Roger sighs.

John sends Roger a look, “Brian? You want to explain… anything or should we just go get your plant food?”

Do they not care? They had reacted differently when Freddie told them (not that they didn’t know) he was gay or Roger’s casual announcement he wanted to suck a cock (which Brian still hasn’t been able to look at their neighbor in the eye) even John’s quiet admission that he was question was taken with more… something.

“Brian,” Freddie coos, “say something.”

The words finally urge him out of his head.

“And?”

The three of them tilt their heads (who had that tick originally?).

“And what?”

“Do something.”

“You do something first!” Roger counters.

John sighs, “Bri, why are you telling us now?”

“I don’t know?”

“Okay.”

“Well. I do know.”

John sends him an exasperated but amused look, “okay.”

“Is this the confession part of the day?” Freddie grins.

Roger kisses the palm of Brian’s hand, “I think it might be.”

“I don’t have to do it since you all seem to know.”

He hadn’t been that obvious, had he?

“Extremely,” John replies, “and we also knew that sex talk made you more uncomfortable than embarrassed. So we had a hunch, just didn’t know where you were on it.”

How could John possibly know what he’s thinking?

“Because you talk with your eyes, babe,” Roger laughs, “c’mon say it so we can go eat your not-meat meat.”

Freddie giggles.

“That’s not what I meant, twat.”

“Wanker.”

“Bitch.”

“You’re going to get us kicked out of the library!” Brian warns, “and I do like it here. I need books for my thesis.”

John shrugs, “say it and we can leave love.”

Brian holds off only for a second, “fine. I am completely in love with you three. Heaven help me.”

“Fantastic,” Freddie breaks his stare down with Roger off, “now let’s go eat and then we can discuss what you’re comfortable with us doing to your not-meat meat.”

“Freddie!”

Brian figures Freddie deserves Roger jumping on him.

“Can we stop calling it that?”

“Knowing Freddie? Probably not,” John leans up and kisses him on the cheek, “and I am excited you figured yourself out.”

“I’ve always known, I just never added you three into my equation.”

**Author's Note:**

> Handling feelings responsibly? In my Brian May? It's more likely than you think. He's still dumb, but I love him. So do the boys. Y'all know the drill, leave your thoughts and comments below or come talk to me on tumblr!


End file.
